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Theories as to Why You Refused This Drawing I Made of an Expertly Shaded Cube

It’s too good.

It makes you think, Oh, here I am, in the daily grind, the rat race, when I could have been just luging through people’s expectations by drawing an expertly shaded cube where you can tell exactly where the light is coming from.

You don’t want to get intimate with the fact that it’s so good and that I’m showing it to you right now.

You don’t want to get nasty about how I’m standing here demanding that you look at this cube I drew.

You’re wondering what I’m going to draw next.

You’re wondering if you dare even wonder that.

Could it be a bell pepper hovering in the middle of the page? Check.

Could it be a still-life of a football and an apple? Check.

Could it be a frog fighting a windstorm with its webbed little feet all spread out? Check, check, check!

You think this cube is on par with geodes, science, and the Bermuda Triangle, and you don’t want to interfere with all that.

I understand.

You’re right to think that this cube is part of all that.

In a way, I empathize with you!

Because it’s hard to be shaken to the core by a simple cube.

It’s hard to think that maybe this cube, by virtue of its perfection, and the fact that you can tell exactly where the light is coming from, might tilt your perceptions a little. Might make you see things anew. Might make you want to hang up your business suit and propose to a fire hydrant!

You ever nail something so completely (like I did, drawing this cube) that you think you may have exploded a genre and created a whole new one?

What was that? You need some peace and quiet?

I get it. Don’t we all?

I’m going to slowly back away, while continuing to show you this cube.

And, as I close the door, I’ll whisper it:

“Cube.”

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Read Again https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/theories-as-to-why-you-refused-this-drawing-i-made-of-an-expertly-shaded-cube

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