Drawing the PC line during Christmas - Powell Tribune

If I might say a word about the cheery, uplifting Christmas song, “Baby it’s Cold Outside” the PC Police are ruining … “HUMBUG!” They’ve already darn near ruined Halloween, as if sexy nurses don’t exist in real life. Oh, but if a hooker dresses as a librarian, somehow that deception is just fine with the buzz-kill police. You tell me which is worse.

Maybe that’s a poor example, but I think you get my drift. New lines one mustn’t cross are being re-drawn every day. You can’t do provocative and you can’t do funny anymore — not if it might offend some obscure religious sect in Hoboken (or anywhere for that matter). We’re losing some of our greatest comedians as a result. Buddy Hackett must be rolling over in his grave.

For years the PC mob has raised its ugly head in an attempt to steal Christmas and everything sacred therein. I’m sure a few readers out there are already up in arms by the term “ugly head.” Ewww, God forbid we offend the homely people! Hey, we know we’re unsightly, so what’s the big whoop?

Christmas is a virtual smorgasbord for ever-vigilant avengers. I heard last week Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch is under fire for publicly wishing a merry Christmas. What was he thinking, insulting every other religion on earth — particularly insensitive to those whose god passed away, never to be resurrected?

Hey, I’m totally down with respecting the rights of everyone, but as I asked myself at the Chinese buffet today, when is enough enough?

Now it’s become personal. The hauntingly beautiful holiday song, “Baby it’s Cold Outside,” has now become a no-no. I mean, how in our God’s name can one possibly read negatively into, “Just a half drink more?”

If you’re not familiar with the cheery refrain, a young fellow tries to persuade his lady friend to stay over rather than brave an epic blizzard, possibly becoming just another frozen statistic.

They had this exchange, “I really can’t stay” (“Baby it’s cold outside”); “I gotta go away” (“Baby it’s cold outside”). “This evening has been” (“Been hoping you’d drop in”); “so very nice” (“I’ll hold your hands; they’re just like ice …”). It’s called hospitality and chivalry is a nearly-extinct male quality.

Yes, he offers her a drink in ensuing verses, but why not offer a drink, some beef jerky … <anything> if it prevents a buxom friend from entering an unforgiving night? The militant, thin-skinned detractors are missing the spirit of the song.

This gentleman is merely giving an option of spending the night. Coincidentally she did look delightful, but the weather was frightful and she wasn’t dressed for it. Calling a taxi wasn’t an option, as there were likely “Don’t drive unless absolutely necessary” PSAs all over the TV.

I just feel offering a girl shelter from the storm isn’t all that egregious. Would it be less offensive to say, “Lest I be accused of being lecherous, out into the freezing night you go. See ya; wouldn’t want to be ya?”

One wonders how many stiffs have been found during spring thaw because some otherwise caring individual feared accusations of impropriety. I don’t think thousands to be a wild overestimation. So this poor sap warns, “Baby it’s cold outside” — probably double-digits below zero — and our PC sensors suggest kicking her out into the unforgiving night without so much as ear muffs.

This tentative gal does say repeatedly, “I really can’t stay,” but is she just being coy — her lips saying “can’t” while her eyes plead, “Ask me one more time?” Does “I really should go,” translate to “Oh no; I forgot a toothbrush?”

My point is, we have to stop assuming any guy offering a lady a stout drink and respite from the night is a distant relative of Bill Cosby. Christmas is historically proven to be Christ’s birthday, and saying “You look really nice” isn’t sexual harassment. And since when is faking a seizure in view of an attractive woman just a creepy prelude to close-contact, life-saving efforts?

I suppose one can twist anything if one’s mind is in the gutter.

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Drawing the PC line during Christmas - Powell Tribune
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